


Different Attack Strategies

by iniquiticity



Series: a heart made of wood [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ironflint, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drabbles, Gen, mention of drug use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-03-06 17:42:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13416312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iniquiticity/pseuds/iniquiticity
Summary: “Say I hypothetically ordered a substance from another person that acted in a way it shouldn’t have acted. Do you think I can get that person thrown in jail for the rest of his miserable life?”(an Ironflint drabble.)





	Different Attack Strategies

**Author's Note:**

> this drabble takes place in the a heart made of wood series and it will be sort of strange and boring without that context. it doesn't contain any of the regular content warnings of the series though! This comes out of thinking about how [Ironflint!Alex feels about different types of drugs.](https://iniquiticity.tumblr.com/post/169700250414/enigmairi-replied-to-your-post-ironflint-alex)
> 
> If this is interesting to you, [striking iron with flint](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6837667) might be interesting to you. Just read the tags first!

“Hey.” 

Washington looked over the top of his newspaper. Hamilton. It was early for him - not even 8AM. Usually, Hamilton rolled in between 9 and 10, closer to 10, on a Monday like this one. That meant three blissful hours of reading the newspaper, going over reports, and answering emails in complete silence. It wasn’t that Hamilton wasn’t useful. In fact, it was that he was extremely useful, and also unbelivably obnoxious. 

“It’s early for you,” Washington said, folding down the Wall Street Journal. In the summer mornings he didn’t even need to turn the lights on this early; the window illuminated his office fine. 

Hamilton looked about as off as usual on a Monday morning, aside from a sniffle that was just as likely to be drug-induced as otherwise. But his eyes were bright, and he had showered, and put on his blazer jacket. 

“Wanted to get you before you ran off.” A grin. “Have a hypothetical for you.” 

He suppressed the sigh. Hamilton only prefaced himself before the most absurd things. 

“Go on.” 

Hamilton ran his fingers through his hair and strode forward, dumping himself inelegantly into one of Washington’s office chairs. “Say I hypothetically ordered a substance from another person that acted in a way it shouldn’t have acted.” He opened his mouth, but Hamilton held up a hand. “Everything’s okay, I just threw it up, no one’s arrested or otherwise, it was just shitty -- anyway -- do you think I can get that person thrown in jail for the rest of his miserable life?” 

At this he really did sigh, and close the newspaper properly. He took a sip of tea and then leaned back in his chair. “Ideally,” he started, “you would only be taking substances that were designed by people who understood the legal implications of giving you something that made you vomit when it shouldn’t have, and you’d be able to create a class-action lawsuit or hire a strong arbitration team to challenge the people who are responsible.”

Hamilton frowned at him, and shrugged an irritated full-body shrug that, in his current situation, looked more like a wiggle. “Okay, well, let’s assume in this hypothetical that those people aren’t concerned about regulatory bodies or class action lawsuits, and they’re not likely to face fines if there was widespread tampering.” 

Like he thought. The only thing more irritating about your employee’s drug use was the thought one day he would, as Martha had guessed, end up dead in an alley. A sigh, and crossed his forearms on his desk. “Well, if regulatory bodies aren’t concerning, hypothetically, and you’re thinking primarily about criminal charges---” 

“--which I am. Hypothetically.” 

“..Then It’s probably likely that, yes, you could have the person who gave you this hypothetical substance face substantial imprisonment. You have access to excellent legal professionals.” 

Hamilton shot up. “Great!” 

He stood as well, and raised his voice. “ _But_.” 

Hamilton froze in mid-step towards the door. 

He resettled himself in his chair, not breaking eye contact. “You have to consider what that means, to imprison this hypothetical substance distributor. That would certainly be known among that distributor's network, especially if you had threatened this person with this very action as publicly as possible.” 

“I never make exaggerated threats in public,” Hamilton said, contradicted by the gleam in his eye. 

“The distributor's network might hesitant to interact with you again. After all, the benefit of having you as a hypothetical customer is certainly much less than the possible downsides you now are attached to. You may find yourself much less likely to be served.” 

“Huh,” Hamilton said, and sat back on the couch. “You think so?” 

“Would you want to do business with someone who imprisoned your colleague?” 

“No, I guess not.” 

“Do you think this distributor is the one who caused your distress?” 

Hamilton thought about this for a few moments. “Don’t think so, but maybe.” 

“Maybe you should find out who actually distressed you, and based on that, take different actions. For example, maybe this person’s colleagues know that they sell products that aren’t good quality, so if you were to punish them knowing it was their fault, you might be seen less aggressively. It’s more likely that your distributor was given tampered product, which they need to sell, because they have to sell.” 

"I guess. But I don’t really feel like going after like some hardcore Mexican druglord. I mean, um. A hypothetical substance distributor.” 

“Why not?” Washington asked, leaning forward. “You like going after people.” 

“It’s complicated and shitty.” 

“I’m sure I could find someone less likely to sell you something adulterated.” 

Hamilton sat up and glared at him. “I am not using your drug dealer. You will definitely have the least interesting drug dealer I have ever met. No way.” 

He sat back in his chair and shrugged. “So you aren’t interested in identifying and solving the source of the issue, nor are you interested in moving to a person less likely to sell you something contaminated. What you just want is to punish the person who personally inconvenienced you.”

“Right!” 

“Well, I’ve given you my insights on the matter. Is there anything else?” 

“Nope.” Hamilton stood back up and brushed some invisible dust off his pants. “Is there anything I can do for you, other than let you read your boring-ass newspaper?” 

“More tea.” He indicated the mug with a glance. 

Hamilton snapped the mug off his desk and studied the tea bag in it. “Done. Don’t forget Sampson’s here at 9.” 

“I know.” 

He watched Hamilton leave with the mug. If he was lucky, no one would sell any more drugs to him. It was important to have dreams.


End file.
